• Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Book
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

Brittany L. Bergman

Savoring motherhood, building marriage, and living simply

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

The White Space: Things I Don’t Do

Aug 26 49 Comments

Last week I shared an idea that’s been developing in my mind over the last couple of years, an idea that finally came to fruition through an art analogy. Here’s a quick summary: in any work of art, and I think, in any life, there is filled space and white space.

Filled space is what draws the eye; it’s the focus, the color, and the life of a piece of art. In my life, I want my filled space to be made up of activities and action that align to my deepest values.

White space is space that’s left intentionally blank; it is shaped by and serves to highlight the filled space. Just as important as the things I do and prioritize and value are the things I actively choose not to do in order to make room for what I want to be about. The white space allows me to focus on on my top-priority actions and gives me space to rest and breathe.

These are just a few of the things that make up the white space in my life.

It's important to define the things you don't do in order to make room for what really matters.

 

  • I don’t organize. I try to keep my possessions minimal so I don’t have to spend hours and hours cleaning, sorting, and organizing, just to have it all get messy and need to be organized again two weeks later. By keeping my home simple, I can straighten up in a pinch and not feel swallowed by stuff.
  • I don’t clean as often as I “should.” As I’ve said in this space before, I keep a tidy home and I clean as I go because this helps me feel comfortable and relaxed in my home day to day. But I don’t deep clean all that often, because a dirty bathroom doesn’t bother me the way unfolded laundry or a sink full of dishes does.
  • I don’t garden. And if you come over and hang out in my backyard, you’ll probably notice that there are way more weeds than there “should” be. It really doesn’t bother me. I know some people love gardening, and I think that’s wonderful. Pulling weeds and watering plants brings me no joy, so I skip it in favor of other hobbies.
  • I don’t clip coupons, buy in bulk, or scour ads for deals. I’m a one-stop-shop kind of girl. I go to the local grocery store that has the best prices on produce, and sometimes I’ll make a monthly trip to Aldi, but I just don’t have the patience for visiting multiple stores in a week, clipping and saving coupons, and paying a fee to buy in bulk. Though I’ll admit, I do keep a stash of Bed Bath and Beyond coupons in my glove compartment.
  • I don’t do DIY projects. I do enjoy saving money, and I don’t like paying full price for new things. But I’m not a DIY-lover, I don’t enjoy garage-sale shopping, and I’m not particularly gifted at painting, reupholstering, or repurposing. (My friend Daisy recently posted about this tension, and it spoke straight to my soul.) I do think of myself as a home “curator” in that I rarely buy home-related things, but when I do add something to my house, it’s a piece I’ve thought long and hard about, so I usually find that it’s worth the money.
  • I don’t go to all the events. Some people love going to all the events and seeing all the people and being really busy. I’m not one of them. I’ve found that my “sweet spot” is one or two sets of plans for the weekend, and anything more than that feels overwhelming and leaves me depleted by Monday morning. I choose these plans carefully, and I generally skip big events where I wouldn’t add much value (for example, events where I’m not on the “home team” of the host—see below for more about this).
  • I don’t bring work home. I’m so grateful to finally be in a job where I don’t feel the pressure to take work home with me. I made the choice to leave education in search of a more sustainable job for that very reason, so I can give my non-working hours to my family and not to more work.
  • I don’t go shopping (recreationally). I go to the grocery store once or twice a week, and I go to Target or Aldi once a month or so to resupply my essentials. Other than that, I don’t spend time at the mall or go shopping just for fun. I go shopping only when I’m on a mission to find specific items (like maternity jeans, a gift, or shoes for a wedding).
  • I don’t regularly spend time with people who are not on my “home team.” There’s an excellent chapter about this in Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. Basically, you define your core group of family and friends, and you give them the best of your time and energy. It’s not that I don’t enjoy spending time with people outside of this group or that I never do it, but I do so carefully. If I’m maxed out, I don’t stretch myself thin for these people, because I can trust that they have their own home team taking care of them.
  • I don’t spend time with people who drain me. And generally, these people are not on my home team. If a person constantly brings me down, makes me feel less than adequate, or makes me feel uncomfortable when we’re together, I don’t prioritize time with her.

Avoiding each of these is a small choice, but taken together, this white space frees me up to prioritize my deepest values: faith, love, simplicity, health, and connection.

Choosing what NOT to do helps us prioritize what matters. What are some things you don't do? Click To Tweet

 

What’s on your “things I don’t do” list?

Share the love:

  • Share
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)

Related

Filed Under: Relationships, Simple Living & Minimalism Tagged With: choices, contentment, habits, intention, joy, minimalism, priorities, simple living, values

« 6 Uncomfortable Pregnancy Symptoms No One Warns You About (And How to Deal with Them)
Cultivating Gratitude & Sharing Love // 15 »




I'm so glad you're here. This space is all about encouraging women to live simply and intentionally, savor motherhood, choose gratitude, and find sacredness in the everyday moments. I hope you'll grab your cuppa choice and stay a while. I'd love to get to know you.
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
Do you want to be more intentional about how you mother and how you care for yourself?
Subscribe today for encouragement and support!


brittanylbergman

Brittany L. Bergman
The last day of school hit different this year. 💔 My tears at kindergarten graduation were not about how my first baby is growing up too fast. They were tears of gratitude that she’s growing up at all—something that should not feel spectacular, but does.

Swipe for some first day/last day comparisons and an outtake that I adore. 💜
There was a huge, complete rainbow outside Eamon’s bedroom window after his birthday party, and I can’t think of a better celestial celebration for our rainbow baby/big boy. 🌈
Our little Eamon baby is 3! 🎉 Though he will be Our little Eamon baby is 3! 🎉 Though he will be the first to tell you that he is not a baby—he is Eamon Boy, and he is a big kid.

Eamon is sweet and wild and silly and will do anything for a laugh, instantly charming everyone he meets. He is just as likely to tackle you as he is to request a hug and a kiss.

Eamon talks all the time and stretches out the last word of every sentence like it’s a question, but he also loves to communicate with roars and growls. No surface or object is safe around him, as he climbs and jumps off everything and will declare anything from a pillow to a plate his “rock” and throw it like he’s an Earth Giant in Frozen (we’re working on it).

He is obsessed with Dan, smitten with Selah, and thinks I’m just okay, at best—but he is my best buddy if the other two are unavailable.

This past year, Eamon went to Six Flags, Lake Geneva, and Disney World, and he has mastered his balance bike. Basically, he always wants to go fast and/or get as close to flying as possible.

Eamon, you are pure joy and delight, the brightest ray of sunshine, and the dreamiest rainbow baby. Happy birthday, my sweet boy! ☀️🌈💜
Or, “What does it say about me that the first po Or, “What does it say about me that the first poem I’ve written in a year is a list of things that make up my personal hell and I actually had to cut this down because I had so many/too many thoughts on the topic?” It’s fine, everything is fine.
This year was absolutely brutal. It also facilitat This year was absolutely brutal. It also facilitated some of the best decisions of my life, many born out of deep pain. Starting a new job, because the old one no longer fit. Getting vaccinated, to protect myself and others as we muddle through another pandemic year. All but quitting writing and social media, because I simply didn’t want to do it anymore. Most importantly, starting on Zoloft, because I needed it desperately. Those tiny blue pills quite literally saved my life.

The first half of 2021 was one of my darkest seasons, and the second half—thanks to modern medicine and my own intuition and the possibility of remote work, thanks to Selah starting kindergarten and me taking care of myself and being able to look at my kids and truly delight in them for the first time in a long time—was one of my happiest ever.

Holding both halves tenderly as we cross this next threshold. 💜
Selah Marie is 6! She started kindergarten this ye Selah Marie is 6! She started kindergarten this year and firmly entered world of big kids. Her confidence in every area has skyrocketed, from climbing her new playground to sounding out words to talking to new friends. She blows us away every day with her kind heart, generous spirit, and innate sense of empathy. She is tenderhearted, curious, affectionate, and hard to impress, and we adore her more every day. Happy birthday, Selah! 🧁 🎉 💜
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Disclaimer

Brittany L Bergman is a for-profit blog. Any company that I collaborate with is chosen by me and fits the theme and readership of my blog. At times, posts may contain affiliate links or sponsored content, which is never at any charge to you.

Archives

Copyright Brittany L Bergman © 2022
Blog Design + Development by Grace + Vine Studios

This website uses cookies to provide you with the best browsing experience.

Find out more or adjust your settings.

Brittany L. Bergman
Powered by  GDPR Cookie Compliance
Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognizing you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful.

You can adjust all of your cookie settings by navigating the tabs on the left hand side.

Strictly Necessary Cookies

Strictly Necessary Cookie should be enabled at all times so that we can save your preferences for cookie settings.

If you disable this cookie, we will not be able to save your preferences. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again.