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Brittany L. Bergman

Savoring motherhood, building marriage, and living simply

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How My Children Point Me To The Tangible, Touchable Love Of God

Sep 15 Leave a Comment

This essay was originally featured on Joyful Life magazine’s blog.

I fall backward onto the floor, overdramatizing my movements as I shout, “You got me!” Suddenly, there is a small hand in my hair, a finger in my nose, and a long string of slobber about to drop onto my face. “The monster got me again!” I say, and I am rewarded with baby giggles.

I am the mother of a 4-year-old and an 11-month-old (the ‘monster’ in this scenario), which means I am neck-deep in one of the most physically demanding seasons of motherhood. All day long, I meet physical needs with my own body: I nurse the baby, wipe butts, kiss boo-boos, slice strawberries, snuggle away nightmares, and brush hair away from foreheads for one final kiss goodnight. I rock and pat and shush and hoist and dance and carry. My back aches and so do my hands—a chronic source of pain. Sleep comes for me the instant I lay my head on the pillow, so quickly that I often don’t remember closing my eyes. For a highly sensitive introvert, this physicality is almost more than I can bear.

But with every tackle, every kiss, and every time my son’s foot digs into my ribs in his attempt to literally scale my body, I remember: this is how children experience love.

The Physical Is Emotional

For babies, in particular, emotional needs are tied directly to the physical. When we feed, comfort, or roughhouse, we build our babies’ brains. We influence their neural pathways, create a sense of security and love, and lay the foundation for empathy and emotional regulation.

In the first few years of life, children’s nervous systems develop rapidly and they rely on our bodies to help them regulate their emotions (this is why a firm, loving hug sometimes stops a toddler tantrum in its tracks). From our wombs to our blood, our breasts to our breath, God designed mothers’ bodies to sustain their children’s lives—not just building what is physically needed for them to exist, but equipping our children to thrive.

As children get older, emotional and physical needs seem to diverge. And now, as an adult, I almost don’t equate the two at all. I need mental rest, emotional comfort, and spiritual support. I want physical healing and wholeness too, of course, but I’m not convinced any physical measures would heal my emotional burdens. What I need is for someone to metaphorically lift the proverbial weight of the world from my figurative shoulders.

But every time my daughter climbs into my lap, crying over her scraped knee, or my son grabs my hair and pulls my face toward his for a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss, I am reminded of the physical love of God manifested in the person of Jesus.

To read the rest of this essay, head over to Joyful Life magazine!


 
If you liked this essay, you’ll love my new book, Expecting Wonder: The Transformative Experience of Becoming a Mother.

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Filed Under: Faith, Motherhood Tagged With: expecting wonder, faith, God, motherhood, parenting

« Becoming a Mother Brought Me Home to My Body
My 2020 Ta-Da and To-Don’t Lists »




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Brittany L. Bergman
This Very Cool and Very Silly little boy moved up This Very Cool and Very Silly little boy moved up to the early preschool room at daycare today, and he turns 2 in less than a month, and he says new words every day, and he pushes me away in the mornings so he can rest a little longer, and he’s outgrowing his 2T clothes, and he’s not really a baby anymore, and what I’m trying to say is I’M NOT OKAY.
Oh yes I did cry like a baby. 😭 One step closer Oh yes I did cry like a baby. 😭 One step closer to normalcy and very much feeling the weight of the trauma that has yet to catch up to us and the relief that’s coming on its heels. But mostly, feeling thankful for science and every single person who had a hand in creating this modern-medicine miracle. 💜💉
A poem in honor of #internationalwomensday. May we A poem in honor of #internationalwomensday. May we be a generation of womxn who embrace our humanity, our inherent power, and our purpose outside of the confines of capitalism. 💪🏼 🔥
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✔️ Kamala mug 
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It’s a great day to witness the shattering of a glass ceiling, to embrace empathy and decency, and to breathe a collective sigh of relief.

The work is only just beginning, but today, we celebrate. Congratulations, President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris! 👏🏼🎉💙
What a beautiful, exhausting, festive, heartbreaki What a beautiful, exhausting, festive, heartbreaking, cozy, chaotic-but-strangely-quiet Christmas we had. ✨🎄✨

That’s a wrap for me on 2020—I’ll be off social media until sometime in January. May you be filled with peace and hope as we close this year but still wait for the close of this chapter in our history. 💜
I have faced Christmases full of grief and loss; d I have faced Christmases full of grief and loss; depression and rage; exhaustion and loneliness. But I can honestly say this is the weariest Christmas I can remember. I say that not to shine a spotlight on me, but to say that I have a feeling this might be your experience too. I’m with you.
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And so the words to my favorite Christmas hymn hit me different this year. They resonate in a place much deeper, more tender and true than ever before. I rejoice in the giggles of my meltdown-prone child. I rejoice in stolen moments alone in the dark, the room lit only by the glow of the Christmas tree. I rejoice in every video and every social media post I see of a frontline worker receiving the COVID vaccine, our ticket out of this nightmare. I rejoice in the vision that next Christmas might look more familiar than this one does. I rejoice in the hope of Christ, whose universal, creative, motherly love holds the whole universe together.
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On this Christmas Eve, I’ll leave you with this quote from Howard Thurman. I hope these words bring a slant of light to your day.
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“The symbol of Christmas—what is it? It is the rainbow arched over the roof of the sky when the clouds are heavy with foreboding. It is the cry of life in the newborn babe when, forced from its mother’s nest, it claims its right to live. It is the brooding Presence of the Eternal Spirit making crooked paths straight, rough places smooth, tired hearts refreshed, dead hopes stir with newness of life. It is the promise of tomorrow at the close of every day, the movement of life in defiance of death, and the assurance that love is sturdier than hate, that right is more confident than wrong, that good is more permanent than evil.”
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Whatever and however you celebrate at this time of year, I’m sending you all my love and peace. 💫
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Brittany L Bergman is a for-profit blog. Any company that I collaborate with is chosen by me and fits the theme and readership of my blog. At times, posts may contain affiliate links or sponsored content, which is never at any charge to you.

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