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Brittany L. Bergman

Savoring motherhood, building marriage, and living simply

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A Decluttering Manifesto: 6 Tips for Kicking the Clutter from Your Home

Mar 30 70 Comments

It always starts the same way. You can’t open your drawers because they’re so stuffed with unopened mail and odds and ends that have no other place. Your baking cabinet is full of pans and cookie sheets and cupcake tins, and each has a double, and yet you use the single version maybe once a year. The cabinet under the bathroom sink is so packed with bottles and lotions and sprays that if you knock one over, they all tumble out like dominos.

As everything clatters onto the ground, you snap and declare that today is the day! Everything must go! It’s time to purge and organize!

So you start sorting through the guest closet and toss a few things that clearly have no place in your house. A glove that’s lost its mate, a box with a few random pieces of ribbon and some tape. But soon you start to lose momentum as everything becomes “I might need this one day, and I don’t want to have to buy another one” or “I can’t donate this sweater because I might want it if I lose a couple pounds or if turtlenecks ever become trendy again.” (Hint: They won’t.)

When you’re done, you’re left with a small bag to toss, a small bag to donate, and lots of things to rearrange back into piles because it feels better than calling it “clutter.”

Is this how your purging days usually go? Mine used to be this way too. I started with the best of intentions, but then somehow I ended up with so much stuff left over that I started putting it all in places where it didn’t belong. I would place each item into the closet/drawer/cabinet “neatly” and vow to keep it that way. And a few weeks later, it was disorganized and chaotic, and I could swear some of the stuff I got rid of had clawed its way back in.

I have become much less attached to things now that I purge more regularly. I think a good purging session requires a strong filter — a  manifesto — for what stays and what goes. It’s going to look different for everyone, but here are some tips to get you started:

All these tips center around one core idea:

Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful. —William Morris

1. Define what beautiful means for you. The thing about beauty is that not everything gets to be beautiful. Pick one or two categories that are meaningful for you. Another person may consider them to be clutter, but if they’re you’re beauties, they can stay. This could be family heirlooms and antiques, china, photos, throw pillows, or a collection of games. The goal of purging (and the goal of minimalism in general) is not to create a blank, spartan house or get rid of a certain number of things. It’s to cultivate what truly makes your home a home. Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist refers to this as “rational minimalism,” and Myquillin Smith of The Nesting Place calls this “cozy minimalism.”

2. If you have not used it in 6 months, get rid of it. At first, this rule was in the last 2 years, which then became in the last year. I was still justifying the hoarding of too many things, so now 6 months it is. This still accounts for changing seasons, because if I’m considering winter items in the summer, I probably used the important ones within the last 6 months. If not, into the donation bag it goes.

3. When in doubt, toss it. I used to play by the opposite rule (when in doubt, keep it), or by a grayer rule (when in doubt, keep it for six months, and if you still don’t use it, get rid of it). But here’s the thing: I never got rid of it. I’d extend the deadline over and over until two years had gone by and those darn pants still didn’t fit and had gone hopelessly out of fashion. The last few times I’ve purged, I’ve thrown away or donated everything that I was in doubt about, and truthfully, not even once have I thought about the items again. I can’t even remember the things that I was on the fence about. I’ve never had a moment where I’ve realized I needed the thing I got rid of and then had to go out and spend money on a new one. It’s not that it couldn’t happen, it’s just that it never has. The first time I tried this out, I got rid of more than triple what I normally do in a purging session (6 garbage bags instead of two, plus two big boxes).

4. Set strong boundaries for what will come back into the house. It’s so easy to get stuck in a cycle of purging, accumulating, snapping, purging, over and over again. The only real place where you can break the cycle is the “accumulation” phase. Also, it’s the only thing that will actually save you money. Otherwise, you may be keeping a simple life and minimal house, but you’re throwing money out the window every few months. Next week’s simplicity post will be all about the self-check questions I use when I’m contemplating a purchase. Here’s a sneak peek at one of my favorite questions: Will I use this item at least once a week?

5. Get someone else in on the fun. Dan can often talk me out of keeping things I swear I’ll need someday, and I can talk him into ditching his favorite shirt from college that is so ugly and large on him that I can’t even look at it. I purge so much more when I give him some veto power over my decisions about what to keep.

6. Change your mindset. Admittedly, I haven’t tried this one yet, but it’s the thinking behind the capsule wardrobe and kitchen movements, and I plan to try it out as we pack for the move. Instead of trying to find things to get rid of, flip your thinking. Choose only your very favorite things to keep, and get rid of everything else. Scary? Yes. Worth it? Probably. I’ll let you know.

I hope these tips help you to be bold and confident during your next decluttering session. Remember that the point of purging is not to toss out as much as possible; it’s to become more grateful for what you have and to showcase the things you really cherish. (Although, I will admit that the idea of eliminating all my clutter is reward enough in itself.)

In the coming weeks, I’ll share more about how I stop the clutter from coming in via impulse purchases, how I’m making good on these intentions as I’m packing, and how I’m organizing the storage space in our new home.

Happy purging!

What are your favorite rules and tips for purging your possessions? What’s something you got rid of and never looked back, even though it was a tough call at the time?

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Filed Under: Simple Living & Minimalism Tagged With: choices, cleaning, consumerism, decluttering, discipline, freedom, gratitude, home, minimalism, organization, purging, simple living

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brittanylbergman

Brittany L. Bergman
✔️ Kamala shirt ✔️ Kamala pearls ✔️ Ka ✔️ Kamala shirt
✔️ Kamala pearls
✔️ Kamala mug 
✔️ Kamala curls

It’s a great day to witness the shattering of a glass ceiling, to embrace empathy and decency, and to breathe a collective sigh of relief.

The work is only just beginning, but today, we celebrate. Congratulations, President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris! 👏🏼🎉💙
What a beautiful, exhausting, festive, heartbreaki What a beautiful, exhausting, festive, heartbreaking, cozy, chaotic-but-strangely-quiet Christmas we had. ✨🎄✨

That’s a wrap for me on 2020—I’ll be off social media until sometime in January. May you be filled with peace and hope as we close this year but still wait for the close of this chapter in our history. 💜
I have faced Christmases full of grief and loss; d I have faced Christmases full of grief and loss; depression and rage; exhaustion and loneliness. But I can honestly say this is the weariest Christmas I can remember. I say that not to shine a spotlight on me, but to say that I have a feeling this might be your experience too. I’m with you.
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And so the words to my favorite Christmas hymn hit me different this year. They resonate in a place much deeper, more tender and true than ever before. I rejoice in the giggles of my meltdown-prone child. I rejoice in stolen moments alone in the dark, the room lit only by the glow of the Christmas tree. I rejoice in every video and every social media post I see of a frontline worker receiving the COVID vaccine, our ticket out of this nightmare. I rejoice in the vision that next Christmas might look more familiar than this one does. I rejoice in the hope of Christ, whose universal, creative, motherly love holds the whole universe together.
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On this Christmas Eve, I’ll leave you with this quote from Howard Thurman. I hope these words bring a slant of light to your day.
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“The symbol of Christmas—what is it? It is the rainbow arched over the roof of the sky when the clouds are heavy with foreboding. It is the cry of life in the newborn babe when, forced from its mother’s nest, it claims its right to live. It is the brooding Presence of the Eternal Spirit making crooked paths straight, rough places smooth, tired hearts refreshed, dead hopes stir with newness of life. It is the promise of tomorrow at the close of every day, the movement of life in defiance of death, and the assurance that love is sturdier than hate, that right is more confident than wrong, that good is more permanent than evil.”
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Whatever and however you celebrate at this time of year, I’m sending you all my love and peace. 💫
I found my Christmas spirit this weekend, just in I found my Christmas spirit this weekend, just in the nick of time.

I baked cookies with Selah without getting frustrated (first time ever?), took the kids on drive to see Christmas lights, and wrapped a bunch of gifts.

But here’s what I think did the trick, and please do steal this idea (because I stole it from someone else but have no idea who): Magical Movie Night™️.

On Saturday night, I stealthily placed a golden ticket under Selah’s pillow (which I printed from the internets and colored quickly with a yellow marker; good enough is good enough for Magical Movie Night!). We put Eamon to bed and got Selah ready for bed too, going through all the normal motions of brushing teeth, putting on pajamas, picking out a book. When we climbed into bed, I told her to look under her pillow.

She was confused when she found the ticket, and I told her it was for a Christmas movie night. “When?” she asked. “Right now!” I said. “What do you mean ‘right now’?” When it dawned on her that she was going to stay up past her bedtime to have a special movie night with Mommy and Daddy (sans Eamon), she lost her mind with excitement.

Bonus: Gramma was waiting downstairs with a bag of popcorn and Swedish Fish!

We snuggled under blankets, turned on Elf, and laughed our festive butts off. (This was her first time watching Elf, and it felt like the dawning of a new era. It’s such a big kid movie! And she loved it! Hold me. 😭)

Deck the halls, bring on Christmas, fill my mug with holly jolly goodness. 

I also acknowledge this has been a crappy year in so many ways, and I know many of you are not going to be able to access Christmas cheer this year. That’s okay. The real spirit of Christmas is light breaking through the dark, love making a way, and the beauty that can’t help seeping through the dirty, messy, horribly human moments of our lives. So you’re covered.

(And if you want to fake it ’til you make it, give Magical Movie Night a try. It’s the actual easiest.)
In which I couldn’t come up with a clever captio In which I couldn’t come up with a clever caption. There are signs of life but my brain is dead. 💀
“This is what I find most mystifying about Adven “This is what I find most mystifying about Advent: the period of waiting ultimately ends in great joy, but we can’t get to that great joy without intense, active, unbearable pain. In Advent we sense the mingling of anticipation and anxiety, excitement and disappointment, joy and pain, hope and fear.
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“On this side of history, we have the luxury of waiting with great hope, great joy, and great expectation. We know Jesus will be born, we know he will save us and redeem us, we know he will die and rise again, and we know he will set all things right one day.
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“But before Christ came, Advent was dark. It was lonely and unknown, as the Israelites waited in faith to hear from God, and all they got was… nothing. Silence.
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“Isn’t this more characteristic of the waiting we usually do? The waiting seasons of our lives are less often marked by joy and hope and more often marked by pain and fear. They are not often cozy or comforting but difficult and dark and even laborious.
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“We wait as a pregnant mother waits for her child to be born—there’s a vision of the joy to come, to be sure, but in the throes of gut-wrenching labor pains, we think we might actually die before we see that joy fulfilled. After a long season of pregnancy, when the fullness of time has arrived, the advent of labor ushers in the real period of waiting—and it is active and painful and raw.”
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// From “In the Fullness of Time,” a new blog post on @first15. There’s a link in my bio to the whole piece, with thoughts on pregnancy, Advent, and waiting well in an exceptionally hard year. 💜 Thank you so much to @first15 for publishing this post!
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Brittany L Bergman is a for-profit blog. Any company that I collaborate with is chosen by me and fits the theme and readership of my blog. At times, posts may contain affiliate links or sponsored content, which is never at any charge to you.

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