Brittany L. Bergman

Savoring motherhood, building marriage, and living simply

Armchair Chats // Permission to Revise Redux

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Almost exactly six months ago, I shared that Dan and I decided to put Selah in daycare two days a week. We had been tag-teaming childcare responsibilities while both juggling full-time work, and once she became a toddler (aka more energy + less daytime napping), we needed a new system. Well, the new system didn’t work so well. After a few weeks in this new setting, Selah started to backslide, and even though we tried everything we could think of, she just never adjusted. I think this situation was not a good fit for her in a number of ways,… Read More

Do We Have to Go?

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Two nights before Dan and I left for the trip of a lifetime—twelve days on the beaches of Phuket, Thailand, with no kids and zero responsibilities—I looked up from my to-do list with tears burning under my eyelids and asked, “Do we have to go?” The words came out choked and quiet, in a voice so small I hardly recognized it. I did not ask this question rhetorically or ironically. It sounds crazy, I know—who wouldn’t want to leave behind the hustle and bustle of regular life, of working full-time and caring for a strong-willed toddler? Who wouldn’t want to… Read More

Armchair Chats // Getting Up Early and Putting Down the Phone

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve been an early bird with an incredibly sensitive body clock. One on hand, this is a gift—it’s not hard for me to get up before dawn. I relish the quiet mornings while everyone in my house, and even the house itself, is still asleep. I love the way the stairs groan as I tiptoe down each one, creaking to life after a night of sleep (so long as the creaking doesn’t wake Selah). I love flicking on just the one lamp next to my favorite armchair, leaving the rest of the house… Read More

Who I Could Have Been

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It’s tempting in this season of life—the one that is filled with diapers and dishes and falling asleep by 9:30 most nights, and also with sloppy toddler kisses and family vacations and a sweet spot in my career—to say that this is all I’ve ever wanted. And it is, kind of. I have a loving partner, a delightful daughter, a fulfilling career, and a supportive community. I would not trade the life I have now for the deceptive promise of a better one. But I sometimes think about the paths I didn’t take and wonder if I did myself a… Read More

My 3 Guiding Words for 2018

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For the last few years, I have happily gone along with the trend to pick a guiding word or phrase for the new year. I definitely don’t hate on resolutions; whatever floats your goal-setting boat is fine with me! I did start this year with a solid nine goals for various areas of life, but I love the idea of a word (or three) capturing the essence of the year and acting as a filter of sorts. I’m not sure if my goals came first or the words came first—really, I think they shaped each other until I ended up… Read More

Armchair Chats // 2017 Wrap-Up and About 1,000 Book Recommendations

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I know it’s almost the end of January, which means I’m about 30 days late on a 2017 wrap-up, but here it is anyway. The end of 2017 was especially whirlwind-like, with Selah’s birthday and Thanksgiving and preparing for an overseas trip in November, then actually being away from home until the middle of December. I devoted the little space I had left before the holidays to getting enough sleep (some days I still feel jet-lagged), resting and playing with my family, and doing a handful of things that always make Christmas feel like Christmas. I curled up with good… Read More

I Knew Exactly What My Parenting Style Would Be—Until I Became a Mom

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Some nice words that describe my personality are self-disciplined, productive, focused, structured, driven. Some less-nice words that describe my personality are controlling, rigid, impatient, perfectionistic. On the Enneagram framework, I’m a type 1, which is literally called “The Perfectionist.” I’m about as far on the J side of the Judging-Perceiving spectrum on Myers-Briggs as one can get. I crave productivity, I thrive on routine, I am motivated by the pursuit of perfection—so much so that sometimes I believe perfection is a real, achievable thing. (Go ahead, moms. You can laugh.) But honestly, if you saw me on a normal day… Read More

Could It Happen to Us, Too?

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I watched my family fall apart when I was 22. My parents had been married for 24 years, but I was under no illusions that they’d all been happy ones. I remember the arguments behind closed doors and a handful of shouting matches when they thought I was asleep. If I braved a knock, I’d hear this response: “Mommy and Daddy are talking. We’ll be out later.” I knew not to knock again. I would picture them on the other side of that door, pacing and then sitting on the bed and then pacing again. Their brass headboard was the… Read More

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