• Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Book
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

Brittany L. Bergman

Savoring motherhood, building marriage, and living simply

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

What I’ve Learned from My Husband: An Anniversary Letter

Jul 20 93 Comments

Apparently I really like to write letters to my loved ones for life’s big occasions. I didn’t mean to have two letters on the blog two weeks in a row, but it just turns out that my mom’s birthday and my anniversary are within a week of each other, and I wrote letters for both without realizing it.

Here’s a letter to my sweet, adventurous, delightful husband for our second wedding anniversary.

There's so much we can learn from marriage and from our spouses, no matter how long we've been married. I've learned these 5 things from my husband in just two years together, and I'm so grateful for the many more things he has taught me.

Dearest Dan,

These two years have flown by, and they feel like a drop in the bucket, don’t they? I wouldn’t trade them for anything, and it fills my heart with pure wonder to know that the best is right now and still yet to come.

I thought I knew you well when we were dating, and I did, for the most part. We went into marriage with healthy attitudes and healthy hearts, having talked about so many of the marital and family issues we would likely face. We knew we’d have to tackle these challenges all over again when we faced them in real time, and naturally, there have been plenty of unexpected challenges along the way, but I think your openness and leadership in dating helped us approach each of these situations with empathy and grace.

But no matter how well I thought I knew you, being your wife and living with you and sharing a bed and bathroom with you for two years will teach me a few things. This is what I’ve learned about you and learned from you over the couple of years that have been ours. I promise I’ll always be an eager student.

1. You’re more of a dreamer than you let people see. Your dreams often look different from mine; you dream of a healthy retirement nest egg and camping adventures with our kids, while I dream about soft things like peace and passion, but we’re actually both after the same things. You dream with an entrepreneurial mind and an ambitious spirit, but your level-headed pragmatism tempers this perfectly. You love a good risk, but you’re not willing to gamble away any part of our life.

2. You’ve become an acts of service guy when it comes to showing love. You saw my love language changing from quality time to acts of service before I did, and you swooped in to meet that need. Each time I’ve come up against a challenge—working two jobs, being exhausted and sick during my first trimester, purchasing a home and having no idea what to do with it—you’ve stepped up and done far more than your share. And not just with the things I ask for help with; you actively notice what needs to be done and then you do it. It means everything to me.

3. You value balance, even when you struggle to find it. I know your job demands a lot from you, and you place a lot of pressure on yourself to perform well and provide for our family. I appreciate every drop of sweat you’ve shed, real and proverbial, for my sake. I also am so relieved that you’re not the workaholic type, and that even when you’re at your busiest, you make time for what matters.

4. You attempt empathy, even when it’s hard. You always try to see an issue, conflict, or source of joy from my perspective, and when you can’t, you acknowledge that you’re not sure how to understand and relate, even though you want to. You also might be the only man in the world who knows how to listen instead of fix. Your “I’m so sorry, dearest,” goes further than you could ever know.

5. Your adventurous spirit is infectious. I’m cheating a little here, since I already knew this, but being married to you has allowed me to see this even more fully. You’ve pushed me out of my comfort zone (usually gently) so many times—encouraging me to make the career change, going off the trail on your bike and therefore forcing me to follow you, challenging me to spend a couple of days at Yosemite when I really didn’t think I liked nature. While I would say you’ve changed me in many ways, I’d also say that your sense of adventure and gentle challenges have made me more myself than I’ve ever been.

These characteristics, among so many others, are also the reasons why I’m so certain you’re going to make an amazing daddy to our girl. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but one of the reasons why I married you was because I could picture you being a tender, fun, and responsible father, and I know I’m still right.

I don’t know how to say this without sounding cheesy, so here it is: you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. In the midst of one of my darkest seasons, you shined the light of Christ into my life. You walked me through healing from deep body-image issues, abandonment fears, and abuse scars. You make me laugh every day with your silly nicknames and ridiculous claims. Every day I have with you is the best day of my life.

I love you, Daniel. Happy anniversary.

What one wife has learned from her husband in 2 years of marriage. Click To Tweet

Share the love:

  • Share
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)

Related

Filed Under: Marriage Tagged With: adventure, contentment, joy, love, marriage

« Cultivating Gratitude & Sharing Love // 10
For When Your Faith Is Too Comfortable: How to Reignite Your Awe »




I'm so glad you're here. This space is all about encouraging women to live simply and intentionally, savor motherhood, choose gratitude, and find sacredness in the everyday moments. I hope you'll grab your cuppa choice and stay a while. I'd love to get to know you.
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
Do you want to be more intentional about how you mother and how you care for yourself?
Subscribe today for encouragement and support!


brittanylbergman

Brittany L. Bergman
The last day of school hit different this year. 💔 My tears at kindergarten graduation were not about how my first baby is growing up too fast. They were tears of gratitude that she’s growing up at all—something that should not feel spectacular, but does.

Swipe for some first day/last day comparisons and an outtake that I adore. 💜
There was a huge, complete rainbow outside Eamon’s bedroom window after his birthday party, and I can’t think of a better celestial celebration for our rainbow baby/big boy. 🌈
Our little Eamon baby is 3! 🎉 Though he will be Our little Eamon baby is 3! 🎉 Though he will be the first to tell you that he is not a baby—he is Eamon Boy, and he is a big kid.

Eamon is sweet and wild and silly and will do anything for a laugh, instantly charming everyone he meets. He is just as likely to tackle you as he is to request a hug and a kiss.

Eamon talks all the time and stretches out the last word of every sentence like it’s a question, but he also loves to communicate with roars and growls. No surface or object is safe around him, as he climbs and jumps off everything and will declare anything from a pillow to a plate his “rock” and throw it like he’s an Earth Giant in Frozen (we’re working on it).

He is obsessed with Dan, smitten with Selah, and thinks I’m just okay, at best—but he is my best buddy if the other two are unavailable.

This past year, Eamon went to Six Flags, Lake Geneva, and Disney World, and he has mastered his balance bike. Basically, he always wants to go fast and/or get as close to flying as possible.

Eamon, you are pure joy and delight, the brightest ray of sunshine, and the dreamiest rainbow baby. Happy birthday, my sweet boy! ☀️🌈💜
Or, “What does it say about me that the first po Or, “What does it say about me that the first poem I’ve written in a year is a list of things that make up my personal hell and I actually had to cut this down because I had so many/too many thoughts on the topic?” It’s fine, everything is fine.
This year was absolutely brutal. It also facilitat This year was absolutely brutal. It also facilitated some of the best decisions of my life, many born out of deep pain. Starting a new job, because the old one no longer fit. Getting vaccinated, to protect myself and others as we muddle through another pandemic year. All but quitting writing and social media, because I simply didn’t want to do it anymore. Most importantly, starting on Zoloft, because I needed it desperately. Those tiny blue pills quite literally saved my life.

The first half of 2021 was one of my darkest seasons, and the second half—thanks to modern medicine and my own intuition and the possibility of remote work, thanks to Selah starting kindergarten and me taking care of myself and being able to look at my kids and truly delight in them for the first time in a long time—was one of my happiest ever.

Holding both halves tenderly as we cross this next threshold. 💜
Selah Marie is 6! She started kindergarten this ye Selah Marie is 6! She started kindergarten this year and firmly entered world of big kids. Her confidence in every area has skyrocketed, from climbing her new playground to sounding out words to talking to new friends. She blows us away every day with her kind heart, generous spirit, and innate sense of empathy. She is tenderhearted, curious, affectionate, and hard to impress, and we adore her more every day. Happy birthday, Selah! 🧁 🎉 💜
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Disclaimer

Brittany L Bergman is a for-profit blog. Any company that I collaborate with is chosen by me and fits the theme and readership of my blog. At times, posts may contain affiliate links or sponsored content, which is never at any charge to you.

Archives

Copyright Brittany L Bergman © 2022
Blog Design + Development by Grace + Vine Studios

This website uses cookies to provide you with the best browsing experience.

Find out more or adjust your settings.

Brittany L. Bergman
Powered by  GDPR Cookie Compliance
Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognizing you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful.

You can adjust all of your cookie settings by navigating the tabs on the left hand side.

Strictly Necessary Cookies

Strictly Necessary Cookie should be enabled at all times so that we can save your preferences for cookie settings.

If you disable this cookie, we will not be able to save your preferences. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again.