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Brittany L. Bergman

Savoring motherhood, building marriage, and living simply

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7 Ways I Live Simply with a Toddler

Mar 28 25 Comments

Simple living with a toddler kind of seems like an oxymoron, right? For a long time after I had my daughter, I felt like a simple-living impostor. It took a while to figure out our family rhythms after she was born and then again after I returned to work. She keeps growing and changing on me (babies seem to do that), but these are the things that are working right now as I attempt to keep our home, schedule, and lives as simple as possible.

I know these strategies may not work for everyone, but I hope they help you generate some new ideas for how you can simplify your life even if your toddler is a bit of a hurricane (as mine most definitely is).

Living simply with a toddler seems like an oxymoron, right? It can seem impossible to pursue minimalism when you have small children, but these 7 things will help you simplify and make the most of the time you have.

1. Online shopping

I actually don’t think I could survive working and being a mom without Amazon Prime. There is rarely an item I need that I can’t wait two days to receive, and it saves me so much time at Target (and money in impulse purchases, amiright?). I order most of my clothes online as well, which doesn’t always work perfectly because of returns, but at least I can try on items in the comfort of my home rather than in the store whilst I try to entertain my child. I also try to order from places that have easily accessible brick and mortar stores, because I hate returning things by mail.

2. Cleaning service

Dan and I don’t currently pay for childcare (more on that below), so when I decided to go back to work, we thought it would be more than worth a percentage of my salary to hire a house cleaner. It is absolutely, hands down, 100% the best money we spend each month.

We try to keep up with the basics in between—doing the dishes at every meal, wiping counters, sweeping the floor (we are not great about this last one; thank goodness for our vacuum dog)—but it’s so nice to know that my house will get a full deep clean every month, and I don’t have to be the one who spends hours doing it. 

3. Keeping toys minimal

This is the one I see on Pinterest all the time—it seems like “minimalism with kids” is synonymous with “have three wooden toys.” I love wooden toys, and we do own a few. But for now, I’m not super intentional about what Selah plays with as long as she likes it. My trick to keeping toys simple is, well, quite simple: I don’t buy them anymore. We’ve had the same toys she plays with now for months—a learning/activity table, a few puzzles, some sets of stacking cups and blocks, a play kitchen, some play food. She’s starting to seem a bit bored with our offerings, so I’m planning to stash away some toys and bring them out again in a few weeks to see if that helps.

I also give her a new safe-for-play household item each day, and she likes these more than she likes toys. One day it might be spatulas, another day plastic containers, and another day a gift bag full of tissue paper. I also feel like I should confess here: when I’m working and she won’t play independently, the TV goes on. The nursery rhymes she loves drive me up a wall, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

 

4. Food routines

You know how some big-time CEOs wear a daily uniform—jeans, a hoodie, sneakers? I do that with food. I keep a running grocery list on Google Docs, which largely stays the same week to week. We all eat exactly the same thing for breakfast, lunch, and snacks every single week. Does it get boring? Yep. But I’d rather be a little bored than exert the effort to be creative with all my meals.

Dinner is where we mix things up a bit. I try to cook one new meal each week, and if it becomes a favorite, I’ll add it to the spreadsheet where I keep all our tried-and-true recipes. When I plan meals for the week, I pick a few from this spreadsheet and fill in the ingredients on my grocery list. For now, it’s enough if I cook two to three times a week, because we can feed off the leftovers the next night, and sometimes the next. Our current favorite recipes are both soups—they take quite a bit of work on the front end, but Dan and I get three nights of meals out of these, plus Selah eats a good portion too. Check out Paleo Zuppa Toscana (we add an extra pound of ground turkey and sub white potatoes) and Tuscan White Bean and Sausage Soup (again, I bulk it up with an extra pound of ground turkey).

5. Forging my own childcare plan

I work full time at a publishing house, three days in the office and two days at home (on these at-home days, I am still responsible for eight hours of work). Dan is a real estate agent, and he works a lot of hours but has a somewhat flexible schedule. Right now we can work it out that he’s home with Selah two days, I’m home with her two days, and my mom is with her one day. (We get lots of help from Dan’s mom too.)

Honestly, this system hardly feels “simple”—in many ways, it complicates our lives because it’s a heck of a lot harder to work while caring for a child. But it is saving us a ton of money in daycare costs, which is allowing us to pay down our student loan debt faster, so ultimately, it’s the best thing we can do right now. Plus, I do really like having more time with Selah and getting to work in sweatpants twice a week.

6. Respecting her sleep routine

Selah is a kid who needs her sleep, and she isn’t afraid to let me know about it. For a long time, she couldn’t be up long past her nap time or bedtime without getting crazy overstimulated and having a meltdown. Especially in the early days of sleep “scheduling” (because “routining” isn’t a word), we tried to stick to her routine as much as possible, partially for our sanity in not dealing with a very crabby baby and partially because consistency is the key if you want sleeping routines to stick.

Now she’s a bit more flexible and we can push her a bit with staying up late so we can visit with friends, but for the most part, I fiercely guard her sleep times. Often, this is the only chance I have to work on the weekdays I’m at home, and it’s the only time I have to rest on the weekends. Respecting her sleep means we both get the rest we need to be healthy, functional people.

7. Making “no” my default for now

I feel a little guilty admitting this one, because it sort of makes me seem like a curmudgeon. Really though, this is just a mind-set shift. It used to be that I would say yes if I could do something (go somewhere, see someone, attend this event, etc.), but given my very real limitations in this season of parenting a small child, that has to look different. Instead of saying yes unless time does not allow, I think no unless there is a compelling reason to go and it works with our schedule.

I try not to plan more than one or two things each weekend (besides church), and I avoid weeknight events. Sometimes I wonder if I’m missing out, but I think, for now, this is better for me: I can connect with Dan when we’re both at home, I get enough sleep, I read lots of books and can run this blog and pursue my writing. When those basic needs are met, I can socialize joyfully instead of begrudgingly, even if it’s less often.

***

Ultimately, my goal is for each person in my family to be healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and for us to form deep, loving bonds with one another. These habits are helping us do exactly that by living simply and prioritizing what matters most to our family.

How do you keep things simple in your current season of life?

 

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Filed Under: Motherhood, Simple Living & Minimalism Tagged With: budgeting, choices, family, habits, home, minimalism, motherhood, simple living, toddler, working mom

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brittanylbergman

Brittany L. Bergman
✔️ Kamala shirt ✔️ Kamala pearls ✔️ Ka ✔️ Kamala shirt
✔️ Kamala pearls
✔️ Kamala mug 
✔️ Kamala curls

It’s a great day to witness the shattering of a glass ceiling, to embrace empathy and decency, and to breathe a collective sigh of relief.

The work is only just beginning, but today, we celebrate. Congratulations, President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris! 👏🏼🎉💙
What a beautiful, exhausting, festive, heartbreaki What a beautiful, exhausting, festive, heartbreaking, cozy, chaotic-but-strangely-quiet Christmas we had. ✨🎄✨

That’s a wrap for me on 2020—I’ll be off social media until sometime in January. May you be filled with peace and hope as we close this year but still wait for the close of this chapter in our history. 💜
I have faced Christmases full of grief and loss; d I have faced Christmases full of grief and loss; depression and rage; exhaustion and loneliness. But I can honestly say this is the weariest Christmas I can remember. I say that not to shine a spotlight on me, but to say that I have a feeling this might be your experience too. I’m with you.
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And so the words to my favorite Christmas hymn hit me different this year. They resonate in a place much deeper, more tender and true than ever before. I rejoice in the giggles of my meltdown-prone child. I rejoice in stolen moments alone in the dark, the room lit only by the glow of the Christmas tree. I rejoice in every video and every social media post I see of a frontline worker receiving the COVID vaccine, our ticket out of this nightmare. I rejoice in the vision that next Christmas might look more familiar than this one does. I rejoice in the hope of Christ, whose universal, creative, motherly love holds the whole universe together.
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On this Christmas Eve, I’ll leave you with this quote from Howard Thurman. I hope these words bring a slant of light to your day.
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“The symbol of Christmas—what is it? It is the rainbow arched over the roof of the sky when the clouds are heavy with foreboding. It is the cry of life in the newborn babe when, forced from its mother’s nest, it claims its right to live. It is the brooding Presence of the Eternal Spirit making crooked paths straight, rough places smooth, tired hearts refreshed, dead hopes stir with newness of life. It is the promise of tomorrow at the close of every day, the movement of life in defiance of death, and the assurance that love is sturdier than hate, that right is more confident than wrong, that good is more permanent than evil.”
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Whatever and however you celebrate at this time of year, I’m sending you all my love and peace. 💫
I found my Christmas spirit this weekend, just in I found my Christmas spirit this weekend, just in the nick of time.

I baked cookies with Selah without getting frustrated (first time ever?), took the kids on drive to see Christmas lights, and wrapped a bunch of gifts.

But here’s what I think did the trick, and please do steal this idea (because I stole it from someone else but have no idea who): Magical Movie Night™️.

On Saturday night, I stealthily placed a golden ticket under Selah’s pillow (which I printed from the internets and colored quickly with a yellow marker; good enough is good enough for Magical Movie Night!). We put Eamon to bed and got Selah ready for bed too, going through all the normal motions of brushing teeth, putting on pajamas, picking out a book. When we climbed into bed, I told her to look under her pillow.

She was confused when she found the ticket, and I told her it was for a Christmas movie night. “When?” she asked. “Right now!” I said. “What do you mean ‘right now’?” When it dawned on her that she was going to stay up past her bedtime to have a special movie night with Mommy and Daddy (sans Eamon), she lost her mind with excitement.

Bonus: Gramma was waiting downstairs with a bag of popcorn and Swedish Fish!

We snuggled under blankets, turned on Elf, and laughed our festive butts off. (This was her first time watching Elf, and it felt like the dawning of a new era. It’s such a big kid movie! And she loved it! Hold me. 😭)

Deck the halls, bring on Christmas, fill my mug with holly jolly goodness. 

I also acknowledge this has been a crappy year in so many ways, and I know many of you are not going to be able to access Christmas cheer this year. That’s okay. The real spirit of Christmas is light breaking through the dark, love making a way, and the beauty that can’t help seeping through the dirty, messy, horribly human moments of our lives. So you’re covered.

(And if you want to fake it ’til you make it, give Magical Movie Night a try. It’s the actual easiest.)
In which I couldn’t come up with a clever captio In which I couldn’t come up with a clever caption. There are signs of life but my brain is dead. 💀
“This is what I find most mystifying about Adven “This is what I find most mystifying about Advent: the period of waiting ultimately ends in great joy, but we can’t get to that great joy without intense, active, unbearable pain. In Advent we sense the mingling of anticipation and anxiety, excitement and disappointment, joy and pain, hope and fear.
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“On this side of history, we have the luxury of waiting with great hope, great joy, and great expectation. We know Jesus will be born, we know he will save us and redeem us, we know he will die and rise again, and we know he will set all things right one day.
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“But before Christ came, Advent was dark. It was lonely and unknown, as the Israelites waited in faith to hear from God, and all they got was… nothing. Silence.
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“Isn’t this more characteristic of the waiting we usually do? The waiting seasons of our lives are less often marked by joy and hope and more often marked by pain and fear. They are not often cozy or comforting but difficult and dark and even laborious.
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“We wait as a pregnant mother waits for her child to be born—there’s a vision of the joy to come, to be sure, but in the throes of gut-wrenching labor pains, we think we might actually die before we see that joy fulfilled. After a long season of pregnancy, when the fullness of time has arrived, the advent of labor ushers in the real period of waiting—and it is active and painful and raw.”
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// From “In the Fullness of Time,” a new blog post on @first15. There’s a link in my bio to the whole piece, with thoughts on pregnancy, Advent, and waiting well in an exceptionally hard year. 💜 Thank you so much to @first15 for publishing this post!
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Brittany L Bergman is a for-profit blog. Any company that I collaborate with is chosen by me and fits the theme and readership of my blog. At times, posts may contain affiliate links or sponsored content, which is never at any charge to you.

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